Rather than do a weight loss Wednesday post tomorrow, I decided that I want to talk more about a mental weight. The feelings of depression and frustration that make everything else in life so much harder to get through.
I finished my workout tonight, fed Buck, took my shower, and walked to the front of the house, going over a mental list in my mind about how much stuff I need to get done, and where I should start, and I immediately started to feel that mental frustration coming on. You know the one I am talking about, that feeling of being completely overwhelmed. Where everywhere you look, something is wrong.
But, for whatever reason, I decided to just walk right through the house and out the front door with Buck.
No, I didn't lose my mind and just start wandering off into the woods. You're not going to see my face on the news as either a) a girl who just disappeared without a clue as to where I went, or b) the person who winds up sitting at a bus stop not knowing how I got there. Nope. I just went outside and looked around. Smelled the spring air and looked at the fish in my pond (that have somehow miraculously survived in the year and a half since my mom moved out). And in that moment, I felt content. I felt like I could stand there for hours (more likely AN hour... it still gets pretty damn cold at night) and be okay with the fact that the dishes were still in the sink and the recycling is overflowing.
So, while I know that nothing in life is ever going to be perfect, I am discovering that it's okay. It's okay that I'll never be completely done with house work, or that my checking account won't ever have a balance high enough to fund my dream closet.